How I’m Redefining Purpose After Leaving the 9–5 and Becoming an Empty Nester

Five months into retirement, I thought I would already have answers.
Today, instead, feels like the real beginning.

Yesterday, my husband and I dropped our youngest daughter at the airport. Up until now, retirement has been filled with motion—traveling back and forth between our home in Morocco and our home in New York, doing house repairs, helping our youngest settle into college, spending precious time with all four of our children. Even after each return to Morocco, someone was arriving or leaving again.

But yesterday, the airport doors closed behind her, and for the first time, there are no set obligations waiting for me today.

I am officially retired.
And officially an empty nester.

When Retirement Becomes Real

I’ve worked or carried responsibilities since I was very young. There was always a routine, a schedule, a place I needed to be, or someone depending on me. Even these past five months of “retirement” had structure—projects to complete, children to support, logistics to manage.

Now, the calendar is open.

And if I’m being honest, that freedom feels both exciting and unsettling.

What will I do?

Purpose Doesn’t Disappear—It Shifts

I don’t believe purpose vanishes when the 9–5 ends. I think it loosens, stretches, and asks to be redefined.

Lately, my days have looked like a collection of small but meaningful moments:

• Reaching out to an organization about potentially helping high school students prepare for college

• Remembering that I have valuable skills—college application guidance, essay coaching, extracurricular planning, financial aid research—skills I’ve used successfully with many students, including my own four children

• Building a website from scratch (and realizing it’s a living thing that will never truly be “done”)

• Starting affiliate marketing—smart, promising, and deserving more focused time

• Publishing my first book on Amazon KDP, with full intention of continuing down this creative path

• Connecting with dear friends to lend support for STEM opportunities for Moroccan students from all socio-economic backgrounds

• Saying an enthusiastic yes when my husband floated the idea of a trip to Switzerland to visit family

None of these things alone define my new purpose—but together, they feel like clues.

Rediscovering the Quiet Joys

In between the “big ideas,” something quieter is happening too.

I pulled out a cross-stitch project I started more than 20 years ago, back then it was difficult to find the time to sit down with 3 children. Just maybe it has a chance of getting finished.

The "honey-do list is being resurrected with a caveat. This humorous term for a list of household chores, repairs, or projects, typically compiled by one partner (wife) for the other ("honey", husband) to complete, creates the perfect excuse for us to spend more time together. Myself, more than willing to lend a helping hand, (offer up some suggestions and opinions) - him doing the work (and ultimately doing what he wants to anyway). lol

After a persistent search, I found the hard drive containing baby photos from 2001 and finally started building a Baby Photo Book. A task well past due, but finding joy in reliving a very special time.

I’m paying closer attention to my health, staying active, and keeping an eye on my blood pressure—not out of fear, but out of respect for this next chapter.

And every single day, I hear from my children. A call. A message. A shared laugh. That connection alone feels like purpose enough some days.

Learning to Live Without a Schedule (Or Maybe With a Softer One)

I’ve caught myself reaching for my old work agenda, thinking maybe I should start scheduling my days again. Not because I need to be busy—but because I’m learning that structure doesn’t have to disappear entirely.

Maybe purpose right now looks like gentle structure:

• Space to create

• Time to help when it feels meaningful

• Room to rest without guilt

• Flexibility to travel, to say yes, or to say not today

Redefining Purpose, One Day at a Time

So how am I redefining purpose after leaving the 9–5 and becoming an empty nester?

The honest answer is: I’m still figuring it out.

And maybe that’s the point.

Purpose doesn’t always arrive as a clear plan. Sometimes it shows up as curiosity, connection, creativity, and care—woven quietly into everyday life. This season feels less about proving productivity and more about paying attention.

If you’re newly retired or standing at the edge of an empty nest, feeling a little scattered and unsure, know this: you’re not behind. You’re not lost. You’re in transition.

And sometimes, that’s exactly where growth begins.