Cozy Winter Nights, Too Many Pillows, and the Sleep Habits I’m Still Figuring Out

How is it already the end of February?

Winter hasn’t quite loosened its grip yet. The evenings are still long, the air still cold, and I find myself leaning fully into this season of slower nights, softer routines, and a bedroom I’ve started paying far more attention to than I ever did before.

When I was working, I planned everything. Meetings. Calendars. School schedules. Travel. Deadlines. But how often to change my sheets? Whether my pillow had expired? What new movie was out?

Those details never made the agenda.

Now, six months into retirement — and truly settled into empty nesting — I’m noticing them.

And honestly? I’m still figuring it out.

Going to Bed Later (And Getting Up Later Too)

One quiet little rebellion of retirement has been going to bed later.

No 6 a.m. alarm.
No early meetings.
No packed schedule waiting at sunrise.

But of course, if I want the recommended 7–8 hours of sleep, that means I’m also waking up later.

And I haven’t quite decided how I feel about that.

Part of me loves the freedom — tomorrow starts when I decide.
Another part of me feels like I’ve wasted a piece of the morning.

I’m still adjusting.

What I do know is that nighttime has become something special.

Because I live in Morocco and all four of my children are in New York (a five-hour time difference), evenings are when we connect. My favorite time of the day!!!!

-One is in her studio working on an architecture project.
-One is heading to the gym.
-Another is on the night shift at the hospital and can only send a quick text between rounds.
-The last is just arriving home to her apartment from work — already recommending the next movie I should watch.

The house may be quiet now.
But those brief end-of-day calls remind me of everything I’ve built.

And how incredibly blessed I am.

Let’s Talk Sheets (Not Cost Sheets or Spreadsheets)

Confession: when I was busy, sheets were changed… when they needed to be changed. Turns out, the general recommendation is:

• Sheets: every 1–2 weeks

• Pillowcases: ideally weekly

• Comforters/Duvet covers: every 2–3 months

• Pillows: every 1–2 years

Fresh sheets in winter feel especially wonderful—crisp, clean, and warm after a long day. I’ve always been one to appreciate and admire a bed that looked luxurious and cozy, but it wasn't until I received a set of sheets as a wedding gift (35 years ago) that I truly understood investing in good-quality sheets can make a noticeable difference in how well I sleep.

They were Egyptian cotton sateen sheets. We loved those sheets! A cute little note came with the gift; "Never go to bed angry with one another."

Yup, they are pricey and with 4 kids, it always felt like an overindulgence replacing those sheets, but it truly makes for a great night's sleep!

The Pillow Situation (How Many Is Too Many?)

Now let’s address the real question:

How many pillows are too many?

There’s:

• The pillow you actually put your face on to sleep.

• The supportive pillow behind your back when you’re reading or watching TV.

• The decorative pillows that make the bed look like it belongs in a magazine.

• And sometimes… one more “just in case.”

At what point does it become architectural engineering instead of bedding?

I used to toss them aside without thinking. Now I’ve started noticing which one actually supports my neck, which one is strictly decorative, and which one I pretend I need.

A good pillow truly makes a difference. If yours doesn’t bounce back, feels lumpy, or leaves you stiff in the morning — it might be time.

As for the decorative ones… I’m still undecided. They bring me joy. But do they serve a purpose? That debate continues.

The Cozy Add-Ons I Never Paid Attention To

It’s funny the things you overlook when life is busy.

For years, bedtime meant falling into bed tired and hoping sleep would just… happen. I never thought much about how I woke up or what the air in the room felt like. I certainly wasn’t researching bedside upgrades.

Now? I pay attention.

One of my favorite little additions this winter has been a sunrise alarm clock with wireless charging. And I’ll admit — I was skeptical at first. I thought an alarm clock was an alarm clock.

But waking up to a gradual soft light instead of a harsh ringtone feels completely different. It slowly brightens the room about ten minutes before the alarm, almost like the sun is rising just for you. On darker winter mornings, especially, that gentle glow makes getting out of bed feel less abrupt and more natural.

You can choose soothing sounds instead of a traditional alarm (birds, soft water, even gentle white noise), and if you’re like me and still adjusting to this “no alarm” retirement life, it’s comforting to know I can use it when I want structure — without feeling jolted awake.

It also quietly doubles as a wireless charger. I just set my phone down on top at night and it charges without cords everywhere. It keeps my nightstand tidy, which I didn’t realize contributed so much to that calm, uncluttered feeling before bed.

And yes, it still has a snooze button. Because some habits never fully disappear.

Then there’s something I didn’t expect to appreciate as much as I do — a small air purifier in the bedroom.

Winter means closed windows. Less fresh air. Heavier rooms.

I started running a compact air purifier at night, and the difference is subtle but noticeable. The air feels cleaner. Lighter. It helps with dust, little particles you don’t see, and even neutralizes lingering smells. There’s something deeply comforting about breathing clean air while you sleep.

What I especially love is how quiet it is. It hums softly — almost like gentle white noise — and has a sleep mode so it doesn’t interrupt the calm of the room. Some nights, I add a hint of lavender to the aromatherapy feature and the whole space feels like a retreat instead of just a bedroom.

Neither of these are dramatic changes.

They’re small upgrades.

But retirement has taught me that small comforts matter. A softer wake-up. A tidier nightstand. Cleaner air. A bedroom that feels intentional instead of overlooked.

These are the kinds of details I never had time to think about before.

Now, I do.

And honestly? It feels good.

Redefining the End of the Day

One of the quiet gifts of this season is going to bed and waking up next to my husband — my best friend of almost 35 years.

Some nights we share a movie. The 90’s action films are his favorites — a little Jean-Claude Van Damme never hurt anyone. Not necessarily my first choice, but entertaining enough, and honestly, it’s less about the film and more about the sharing of it.

Other nights we coexist peacefully in our own worlds. He’s watching YouTube videos. I’m watching Netflix with my Beats headphones on. It’s comfortable. Easy. Familiar.

When life was busy, evenings often felt like recovery time before the next packed day. Now they feel like something to savor.

It’s easy to take life for granted when you’re rushing through it. At this stage, though, we seem to take things one day at a time. We count our blessings. We treasure a good night’s sleep. We wake up wondering — gently, not urgently — what’s next.

I used to run my days by a schedule.

Now I’m learning to close them with intention instead.

Clean sheets.
A supportive pillow (or four).
A quick call from New York.
A quiet house.
A movie we may or may not both enjoy.
A later bedtime.
A later morning.

I’m still figuring out how I feel about waking up later.
Still deciding how many pillows are truly necessary.
Still adjusting to the quiet.

But I do know this:

The end of the day feels softer now.

And tomorrow still begins when I decide.